This tongue-in-cheek look at living as a British expat in the Netherlands strives to uncover a few home truths. This piece focuses on apologising, directness vs politeness, cultural norms, different names for festivals and what we have in common.
Excuse Me
A well-brought up Brit will always apologise in certain situations and this will never change, despite having lived in a different country for more than a decade. Bearing this in mind, the stage has been set for the following scenario:
a bag knocks your leg on the train, and not by itself it should be added; the guilty party does not apologise in the slightest for being responsible for this careless mishap. Consequently, you experience a bout of culture shock just like you have been slapped in the face with a cold fish.
Many similar incidents later, and you are still not desensitised to such behaviour. One day, out of the blue, a Dutch person says sorry for sitting on your jacket and you are so taken aback, that you forget to respond appropriately (i.e. by replying ‘that’s OK’).
Directness vs politeness
If a British person says that Dutch people are not rude, but merely being direct, they are merely being polite. Brits are affected by rudeness, though Brits can also be rude of course. Sarcasm is another example of something undesirable that finds it way into both cultures. Dutch people often say that they can’t work out what British folk are thinking and find it confusing due to understatement. This is a bit of a shame, isn’t it?
I’ll give an example: a manager states that he is a bit disappointed with the employee’s performance and says that he/ she suggests the staff member should do something. Based on the context, the intonation, the relationship between the two people and the facial expressions, it should be possible to see if this was meant as an order, which should be taken deadly seriously, or, in a different situation, if it is a colleague, it may not be important at all. Lesson learned: be aware of cultural differences or you may regret it.
Cultural norms
Walking the streets of suburbia in a Dutch city in mid-June, for example: what could possibly be different from in the UK (apart from bikes parked everywhere and possibly a canal)?
First, there are the houses with curtains drawn so strangers can gawp inside. Bags hang from flagpoles with bags symbolising teenagers who have passed their exams. It gets weirder.
Then, if a baby is born, a plastic stork magically appears. Not to mention the name of the baby for all the world to see. Next, there’s a 50th birthday celebration from hell as those who don’t have a choice in the matter are reminded about their age not exactly in biblical fashion, but with a large blow up doll as things get even more bizarre.
Last, but not least, there are birthday traditions which make us Brits scratch our heads. When It’s your big day and you should be treated, you need to pay for everyone you invite, becoming much poorer as a result. Ironically, in Britain, guests go Dutch, i.e. they all pay for themselves.
Back to the land of clogs and windmills, It’s that time of the week again, yet another birthday to celebrate and another piece of cake while standing around chatting about trivial matters with people you don’t know. Alas, there’s no way around this; you’ll just have to grin and bear it.
It’s all in a name
It is true that the Dutch and the British celebrate different public holidays: in the Netherlands, they celebrate King’s day, whereas in Britain there are Bank holiday Mondays, for example. Interestingly, even the holidays we do share are not quite the same.
Christmas Eve is followed by Christmas Day and Boxing Day in Britain. Aha – but in the Netherlands you have first Xmas Day and second Xmas Day. OK, so ascension day (40 days after Easter) as we know is called Hemelvaartsdag in Dutch. While Whitsun in the UK (also known as Pentecost in the US) is Pinksterdag over here. New Year’s Eve is known as Oud en nieuw (old and new) round these parts.
What we have in common
Amazingly, the two nations/ cultures have plenty in common. Linguistically, both languages have Germanic roots where some words have been taken from each other, i.e. koffie/ coffee
or are alike, i.e. koek and cake. In fact, the Dutch and British royal families are related. Both countries have rich histories with powerful colonial, maritime and trading pasts. Geographically, they are both in Western Europe with similar weather patterns. Lastly, Britain and the Netherlands are two of the wealthiest nations in the world (5 and 6, respectively), although Brexit may change things.
In conclusion, despite all the cultural differences, we are not completely unalike. For me, living between cultures has been an eye-opener. Culturally, it has been challenging at the best of times, and a lesson in cultural awareness as detailed above. Despite this, there is a lot to be grateful for when reflecting on expatriate life here.
Geschreven door Daniel Israel
Taaltrainer Engels
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